October 2010
1 post
The Man With the Grey Ponytail
He speaks a highly specialized sub-sub-dialect of Canadian Prairie English that relies heavily on ad hoc acronyms, rhyme schemes, abbreviations, puns, cultural allusions, and other mnemonic gymnastics. His mouth describes three sides of a trapezoid. He never knows what to do with his hands.
September 2010
1 post
The Young Men With Bikes
There are five young men with very nice bikes one assumes they have prosumed and not stolen (they all have the shoes to fit the shimano pedals, is why one assumes this). Their bikes are uniformly loaded with well-worn and heavily packed saddlebags. Kerouac pokes out of the bag on the red Devinci with the Dior derailleurs. Three of them sit on the plaza outside the liquor mart comparing bandanas of...
April 2010
1 post
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31 days of Cage - the marathon (now extra...
[ed note: Hey, speaking of Nic Cage (which you weren’t), this pile has been sitting in my drafts for weeks! Hooray!]
So we did the five-film blitz to wrap up in what very well may have been two days. Time seemed to acquire a strange molasses-like flow so I’m not sure how long it actually took or exactly when these movies were watched . Somewhere in there Guest-Curator Tyler joined in...
March 2010
23 posts
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31 Days of Cage - days 23-26 and special update
We’re in troubles! Life and laziness have struck the Haircut/Pickles/Menno household and now we have to do a 5 film marathon over two days to complete our project. FRESH POTS sorely needed. Days 23-26 saw some good action (including a visit by our favourite parents-to-be, GCs James and Mimi):
day twenty-three
Adaptation (2002)
I have a mega boner for Charlie Kaufman, so my review is...
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31 Days of Cage - day 22
day twenty-two
Wild at Heart (1990)
Awesome. Pretty funny, a little creepy and unsettling, supremely entertaining. I had high hopes for this one and it didn’t disappoint. Cage is very fine in his role, no over the top freakouts or blatant Cage-isms, but very effective and charming. He even sings well! Laura Dern, despite a bit of a dogface, is equally tits money. I think Juliette...
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31 Days of Cage - days 17-21
Had a real doozy sneak up on us in here this week. Guests Brad and Pro Tools joined for friday and Guest Curator Craig joined for his third tour on sunday.
day seventeen
The Weather Man (2005)
Not a bad movie, but an occasionally annoying one (and the more I watch it, the more annoying it gets). It’s basically the story of a rich asshole who’s losing his shit because his marriage...
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31 Days of Cage - days 15 & 16
Pickles is getting pretty busy with school wrapping up + work, so he’s gonna be missing out on some of these (at first, anyway). His ratings will be added as he sees the movies.
day 15
Snake Eyes (1998)
I remember watching this on VHS when I was 12 or 13, right after it came out, and not liking it. It’s still not very good, but at least there are things about it I can appreciate...
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31 Days of Cage - day 14
We hadn’t done one from before any of us were born yet, also we wanted to see boobs. Guest Curator Beau joins for his first foray inside the mind of Monsieur Cage.
day 14
Valley Girl (1983)
Cage’s first big role (and first credit as Cage, not Coppola), and boy does he come through. A young Cage tends to be a pretty zany Cage, and we get a good dose of that. As for the movie,...
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31 Days of Cage - day 13
We had GC Craig back, along with first-timer GC Joe, as guests for lucky day 13.
day thirteen
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Not clever enough to be a cool heist movie, not actiony or carchasey enough to be an action/carchase flick, best summed up in one emoticon:
Best moment(s): meh.
Menno’s rating: 4.4
Pickles’ rating: 5.0
Haircut’s rating: 4.3
GC Craig’s rating:...
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31 Days of Cage, days 7-12
Remember when I said the reviews would be daily? Well it turns out the kind of guy who names his blog Underperformer and forces himself to watch a Nic Cage movie or two every day for a month is the kind of guy to not update regularly on the interzone. We had a bad schedulue situation on Sunday the 7th and had to fall a day behind (we did a double feature of both National Treasure movies to catch...
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31 Days of Cage - day 6
day six
8mm (1999)
My opinion of this movie was somewhat softened by watching it within a couple hours of Trapped in Paradise, but it is bad. Cage is basically a piece of wood, and changes expression perhaps twice in almost two hours. The plot is pretty dumb and the whole thing feels very heavy-handed. Not even Peter Stormare as a weirdo Drexl Spivey kind of guy can save this.
Best moment(s):...
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31 Days of Cage - day 5
Friday night guest curator Craig picked us a doozy. Ugh.
day five
Trapped in Paradise 1994
Best moment(s): none.
Menno’s rating: 2.5
Pickle’s rating: 2.5
Haircut’s rating: 2.8
GC Craig’s rating: 2.5
Overall Cage grade: C (there was a general consensus that, while terrible, he did what he could with what he had)
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31 Days of Cage - day 4
The original plan for day 4 was Lord of War, but it turns out we sketched on obtaining a copy, so we went in a different direction. Also, Our Friend Dylan joined in with the ratings.
day 4
Ghost Rider (2007)
Pretty much what I expected. Very cheesy, many moments of Cage-inspired hilarity, looked like Schumacher. Cage entertains in his usual ridiculous fashion, and has even improved his vague...
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a grand morning
My very favourite show on television is back on the air after being prorogued for two whole months! Iggy, Layts, Big Baird, they’re all here! Even the sinister Harp Seal!
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31 Days of Cage, days 1-3
My two roommates (known around these parts as Menno and Pickles) and I had the bright idea to make the month of March one long Nic Cage film festival. 31 Days of Cage. The idea is exactly what it sounds like - at least one Nic Cage movie a day for 31 days. I’ll be posting short updates here daily with a couple points on the movie of the day, the ratings (out of ten) from each of us, and an...
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